I had an interesting “a-ha” moment this week. In order to achieve a specific goal, a crucial beginning step is to have clarity on your outcome, right? For me, I have been working on a program that I plan to offer in January. I have a specific goal in mind as to how many people I want to “show up” for my next program. It’s an aggressive goal, but if we don’t aim high, we will never grow.
In all honesty, there’s a piece of me that’s terrified. Of what, you might ask? I am terrified that:
- No one will show up
- For those that do show up, what they will think of me
- What I have to teach will not be of good value and they will criticize it
- I will omit important material
- The organization of my program will be messy and people will complain
We all have these kind of fears when we are about to step up to the plate. My “a-ha” came to me as I finished my run. I heard a whisper in my head saying “Don’t measure your success by the number, but rather what you give.” In that moment, I actually got it. I have been so focused on getting a certain number of people to register for my program in January, that I have lost focus on what I will be giving them, and how it will help them grow…in their business and in their lives.
The thing is, in every personal growth book I have read, or CD to which I have listened, they teach you to pick a number and focus on it, because when you do, you have clarity…and clarity is power. But the realization I had yesterday was that YES, I need to pick a number and focus on it. However, I should NOT measure my success against this number. It’s like you have to pick a number and focus on it to give the universe clarity around what you want…but then, you have to let go of it a little and instead focus your energy on what you will give and measure your success by how much you did give.
The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. When you measure your success by a results based number, you give your power away. In all reality, I have no control over what people will or will not do…including signing up for my program. But when I measure my success by the number of people that sign up, I am giving my power to something external, outside of me and my control. No wonder why that feels so scary! What I CAN control is what I give to them, and that’s how I should be measuring my success. And to back up a little, I can also measure my value by what I have to give. How do I know what I have to give? A whole lot of personal growth and discovery.
It made me think of the Law of Circulation. We are all aware of the Law of Gravity – that if I jump out of a 2nd story window, I will fall down, not up, nor will I float. Well, there are lots of other laws that govern our life on this earth and one of them is the Law of Circulation, which is simply that you get what you give. You may have heard of karma. Karma is just another way of stating the Law of Circulation. In fact, you get way more than you give. But the circuit starts with giving. So, if you want to get (like I want to get my number), I have to start with the giving side.
Your assignment today is to identify one or two things that you have to give and then give it to people all day long. It could be something as simple as a smile or a sense of humor. Or it could be a little more intellectual like a great tip on a secret restaurant for a client traveling to Italy. Change your focus on what you have to give, not what you can get, and go give it. Do this on a daily basis and you will see significant changes in your life.
